Goresan Tinta Theola

Studying in Surabaya was never a part of my dreams. Leaving Malang, the city where I was born and raised, was something I never wished for. The idea of going far away from my family and childhood friends had never even crossed my mind. Yet, life often takes us to places we never expect, and here I am now, in Surabaya, living a life that was once beyond my imagination. And for me, friends are a vital part of my support system. It would be dishonest to say that friends are not important, especially for someone like me who loves to socialize and connect with people. Some might say that friends are not necessary, and maybe it feels that way for those who prefer to be alone. But for me, having friends gives me the motivation to keep going, even when days feel heavy and challenges feel too much to bear. Arriving in Surabaya, I felt like a small boat in the middle of a vast ocean. Everything was unfamiliar, from the streets I walked on to the people I passed by every day. There was no family,...

I’m not the type of person who thinks much about love. To me, “what even is a love story?”. People say college is the best time to fall in love, to build stories with cool people, to feel your heart race while waiting for a text, or to secretly smile when you see someone from afar. I once imagined how cute it would be to have a partner like the student council president (BEM), someone busy with meetings but still making time to walk me home after class, hehe. But it turns out, all of that was just a fantasy, a fairytale I had seen in campus dramas. In reality, even up to my fifth semester, I still walked home from campus alone, passing through crowded hallways without anyone waiting for me. I still sat alone at the canteen, waiting for a message that never actually came. Sometimes, I comforted myself by saying, “It’s okay, I’m still young. It’s not the time to think about love yet.” But at some point, I began asking myself, “What does it feel like, to have someone waiting for you, some...

I never thought I would find myself in a situation like this. It was the first time I had ever experienced such a serious accident. Initially, I only wanted to visit my friend’s boarding house, but I never expected that everything would happen so quickly, in just a matter of seconds. That night, I felt extremely restless in my room. The walls that usually felt comforting suddenly felt tight and suffocating. I wanted to find a calmer atmosphere to refresh my mind. At that time, my head was filled with so many thoughts, and assignments were piling up, yet I had no motivation to work on them. It felt like I was exhausted from the same routine every day but didn’t know how to break free from that feeling. I remembered that I had a friend from high school who was also studying in Surabaya. So, I decided to contact her, hoping we could meet up and talk for a while. Maybe we would just sit somewhere, buy some snacks, and share stories to lighten the burden I was carrying in my mind. I hoped t...

For me, loss is the most painful phase in life. How could it not be? We are forced to let go of things we love, things we care about, and things we have enjoyed every second with. In my life, the hardest loss I have experienced was having to say goodbye to the middle school students I taught English to during my internship, those kids who made me feel seen and needed almost every day. Every morning, I had to wake up earlier than usual, leaving home when the sun had not fully risen, traveling 10 kilometers to arrive at the school on time before the morning assembly started. Sometimes, I had to leave even earlier, worried about traffic. If I got stuck in traffic, I would be late, and I never wanted to make the kids wait. Going home was not easy either. The heavy traffic in the afternoon often greeted me with the endless sound of honking horns and fumes from vehicles, making me exhausted before I even reached home. At night, I still had to attend my classes, finish assignments, and prepar...